Terra's Lament
by Anthonius
Summary: Angsty! Terra looks back upon the battle at the Tower. (Kefka's, not Fanatics').


Terra's Lament ****

Terra's Lament

By: Anthonius Shadante

Standard Disclaimer here: None of the characters, places, or specifics herein belong to me. If they did, I'd be off somewhere doing something more productive than writing fanfic. =)

It's been about three weeks now, since then. Three weeks since ... the Tower. Only someone who was there could truly understand the tower. Only someone who had lived in Vector ... Before ... could know how far he had fallen. Only one who had known him. Only someone who, once, loved him.

Once, long ago, I told Leo that I wanted to know what love was. He must have known, of course, that I did once. That I was in love with a dashing young colonel in the Vectorian military. That, once, I had known happiness - before Kefka's infusion. He knew I loved Kefka, before the onset of his insanity. I'm grateful, really. I couldn't have understood, then, how different he was, before his insanity. Not as I can now. The memories came back, slowly but surely - and I remembered. Remembered what happened back then. 

Before his insanity, he was the epitome of everything a soldier could be. Dashing, heroic, handsome - he had all the ladies in Vector falling over him. But, he liked me - liked my spirit, he used to say. Who was I? Who was I to be loved by one of the greatest heroes of our time? He helped me - with my studies, with my weapons, and with my magic. He understood control. Kefka had been the most disciplined man I ever knew. All he wanted to do was to help Vector. He had no interest in power, or in the throne. The Kefka I knew even turned down a Generalship, because that would force him to have to leave Vector. To leave me. 

The later, insane Kefka, was completely different. He bleached his dark brown hair, and dressed like a court jester. He said, "I am, in truth, a fool. Why not act the part?" I was ... afraid of the new Kefka. I'll always wonder if I could have helped him, if I could have helped bring the old Kefka back. 

I suppose you know by now that I was the one who killed him. Nobody else could. Locke was down. His leg was bleeding, bleeding badly. Even magic couldn't heal it - not in the face of Kefka's power. Celes was protecting him. Had I not been busy keeping myself alive, I would have admired her skill, her devotion ... her understanding of power. All the others had been forced out of the fight, somehow or other. Kefka was the only person left standing ... Kefka and myself. 

I recognized the spell Kefka almost cast near the end. I could sense the power behind it. That spell would have destroyed the world - Kefka knew how to use it that way, and so did I. 

The spell read: "The end comes, beyond chaos. Let all fools who seek salvation, be denied it. Let," 

No, on second thought, I won't write it down. Maybe someday, after I'm gone, magic will reappear - and that's one spell I won't mind seeing vanish forever.

In the end, it was only Kefka and me. We dueled for a few minutes, and it seemed he was toying with me, as he continued to chant the spell. From nowhere, I sensed a change come over him, and his eyes changed back from black to the dark blue eyes I recognized. Nobody else could see it, except me, and even I couldn't be sure - because in that moment, he made a mistake, and I killed him. I thrust the Atma weapon through his heart - and the tower began collapsing, and ... My memories of what happened are a little hazy, from that point on. 

Looking back at what I have done, I wish I could have done things differently. I wish I could have helped him deal with his infusion. I almost wish I hadn't betrayed his plans for Doma to Leo. I know, however, that I did all I could, in each situation. I couldn't have done any differently - except once.

At the very end, Kefka changed - and I took advantage of it to kill him. Now, I'll never know. Who did I kill? Did I kill the madman who took so many lives - or did I kill Colonel Kefka, who I loved? 

Or did I kill both? Oh, all the Gods and Goddesses who exist, have existed, or ever will exist prevent it from being true - did I kill both? 

Author's Note: Yes, Aurora(my personal name for her)/Terra is one of my favorite characters. How'd you guess? =)

No, I don't believe in current Kefka/Terra pairing. It's more like I . . . pity Kefka, and admire who he once must have been. I believe he went nuts, and was not that way to begin with.

Flame if you wish, or not if you wish. Yes, I realize this is a pathetic attempt at a story. Anyone who wants, feel free to MST my little Terra sob story. If I could MST properly, I'd do it myself.

See y'all later, Anthonius. 

PS. I have not given up on The War Within (updated long, long ago). I just can't write Moogles properly. =) 


End file.
